Testimony of Kara Smith
August 21, 2003
I write this now as a free person, in incarnation as Kara Smith, born April 15, 1984, city of Ashland, state of Oregon, and nation of the United States of America. I write in regards to previous incarnations, which require testimony, and to the general path of my soul.
My experience took place in November of 1996, on Maui, Hawaii, in my family's sixth-story apartment overlooking the beach. I was twelve years old. I do not remember the precise date; indeed I believe that I have much more yet to remember. But this is my story.
At 12:01 (according to my night-glow clock) I did not precisely awake, but my consciousness did. Some part of me that I did not yet know to identify, my astral body, bolted awake and out of my physical one. Its/my gaze became transfixed on a glowing orb of light in the center of my room, about 2 1/2 times the size of a basketball. It was glowing blue like fire, then white, orange, and electric purple. The purple felt like a summons to me, awakening me further.
It was then that I saw her. I could feel her essence, white and insubstantial as mist and breath, all about her, and it was as though the air around her wept with fear. Her presence was that of one who is suffering; her own pain was tangible, about her like an aura. I felt compassion for her in an instant, as I watched her form move through the room and towards the glowing ball.
The presence I saw in the room, I knew, was a presence I could not perceive in its true state. But she radiated the heartfelt desire to communicate, and to do so she had to take on a form-I could feel it as though she'd said it aloud. Because of this, it did not seem odd that she had chosen a form I would connect with, in my childhood mind. She had chosen to animate an inanimate object; she needed solidity to communicate and move. She chose the form of my favorite toy, my stuffed Lola doll.
Her spirit was beyond any form. I could feel her pain; feel that she had been destroyed. I felt an incredible love for her, as though I knew her soul and had known it forever, when she turned and met my eyes.
When she did, I felt a true mind-to-mind connection, and her chosen physical form seemed to mist away to "something else", some insubstantial human-like form. Her bare body seemed to shake with fear, and her luminous blue eyes shone with terror. It was a strange body; both bright white, beige and slightly gray, covered with a soft, fine down and radiating a glowing white mist. Her form and energy was definitely female, but her phosphorous nature made any anatomical details obscure. She seemed to be (what I know now as) both a Nordic and a Grey, but then I just thought of her as a "glowing alien".
I felt her say, "Help me. Help me." not aloud or straight into my mind, but as though the feeling of those words was a solid presence in the room, connecting us in communication. I, in my astral body, moved towards her. I wanted to help this beautiful, radiant being, which was clearly in horrible emotional pain. She placed her hands on the bright ball, and motioned with a four-fingered hand for me to do the same. I did, and brilliant white light engulfed us.
For a moment or an hour we were floating in a white mist.
"I will." I could not precisely articulate, but I said in the manner which she did, "Where...how...who?"
She seemed to quake even more. "Him."
Her fear in that word shook me as well, like a breath of ice on my soul. I could not draw away from her terror. I gathered that she was in great fear of "Him" and needed me. Those were my thoughts for a moment, then she dove into me, merged with me, and it was as though I shared her memories, which seemed as vivid as life.
I found myself, in her, standing in the damp shade of some beautiful green foliage, and then walking down a damp earthen path. It came in flashes then; the ground seemed to explode in front of her and earth sprayed up like a geyser.
I saw great masses of beings gunned down with lasers, the loamy earth turning to dust as some sort of ray sucked the water from it. Tall Reptilian beings in great, flowing black robes came from a craft in the sky and lasered her people or stabbed them with huge crystal daggers. At the front of the genocide was one Reptile, wearing robes of black, royal purple and gold, taller and more sinister than the rest.
The people, beings of such bright light and of soft form and skin, attempted to protect themselves but could offer no resistance. I saw death, chaos, and imprisonment by the Reptiles on their craft, then an underground dungeon in which she (and I in her) was chained about the neck and touched with devices she could not identify. The things they touched her with seemed to alter her nature, give her more solidity (though still less than that of a human), change her form and alter her thought capacity over time.
After a time of helplessness to the Reptiles her form was similar to that of a Nordic woman, with skin and body structure like a Grey. She could feel more fear than ever before, and quaked whenever the Reptile in black, purple and gold came near her. He would inspect her closely, and inquire with her captors as to the "progress of this one". At first she could not understand his words, but in time they became clear and she made her own word for the creature. He was simply "HIM".
She rarely spoke, and only when told to, for this strange jaw moving, non-mind communication was not her way. The experiments were painful, and of an almost random nature that indicated she was of little or no value, they only valued their own "findings". The last two times He came to examine her, his words were of disapproval, and she soon learned that the experimentation had been "Of approximate success", and her skull was beginning to expand on the left side like a tumor and cave in on itself. She could no longer move her head, and she did not know its shape or appearance. She had not known, for she was alone and could no longer see her reflection in the eyes and body of a friend, as her kind could. The last time He came to examine her He said something to his associates, then laughed as he stood over her, mocking her weakness and her small body, chained to the floor with her back against the wall.
"Anything more?" He laughed, drawing forth his dagger of crystal. This might translate as "Any last requests?" or "Do you wish to beg (for mercy)?"
She was scared, but simply shook her head; a gesture she had learned from the Reptiles.
He grinned at her, drew the blade back, and rendered all her body immobile with a stare. Then, cackling like a lizard, He plunged the dagger through her small, weak chest until it scraped against the stone wall. He twisted it, tearing her fragile body apart.
She could not scream, but her soul cried out in agony as she slowly left her destroyed body behind and merged, and I in her, with a great, shining white web of light beyond death. In the center of our circle of the web stood an Ancient; a great one of her race who had passed before her, radiating love and wisdom to us as we hovered in front of him.
He instructed her to come to me, find me. "A girl in her Third-Dimension Earth form, of Reptile and White Human and Native Human body. You will love her, and she will love you. She has the gift. Those who dislike you shall counterattack, as is their nature. You must reawaken her gift, for They have blocked and hidden it. Take this jewel, and you will succeed in time." The Wise One gave her the orb of light I had seen before, and then we were back in my little room and she was embracing me.
Her fear was gone and she was radiant with glorious light. "Thank you." She shared. "I can Release now."
We were in separate forms again and I realized that tears were streaming down my face. I knew that I had received her memory, and would carry it on, so she, once the last of her People to die and now beyond her death, could move on to the next phase of being.
I looked at my physical body, still in my bed.
"You must return to it now." She communicated. "Tough times are ahead. I will be with you. They know what I did, but you will survive. You have a gift."
I reentered my body. Seconds or minutes after I did, a glowing green light appeared in my window. My body was as immobile as hers had been in "His" stare, and it was lifted into the light.
The memory is faint, as it was meant to be. I know I found myself on a surgical table. "He" was to my right, smiling. He looked into my eyes, and it was as though my soul was an open book to Him. He knew what the spirit had shown me. It was not a question, for him, that the soul was immortal. He knew it. And he knew that my soul had been enslaved, abused and under mind control before. This pleased Him.
He made a strange hand gesture, and I suddenly felt as though I had to welcome him, that by all rights he was my Master. He said to me, aloud, "You've been controlled before, I control you again. That is the natural way."
I felt my head, even my eyes, turned so that I could see only his face, at my bedside, at my right. I saw that flash of some metal tool; he was preparing for some sort of surgery. I could not see it; he wouldn't let me.
Grays milled in and out of my vision, bringing tools and unidentifiable supplies.
Some part of my mind could feel his mind. I knew that these were not normal Grays, of a hive mind that his people had constructed by altering species just like hers; just like the one of the spirit who had just shown me what had been done to her. They had tried to make her a Gray, but she had died while her mind was still her own.
But these in particular were mindless Grays made especially for this purpose. He had something to hide from that "hive mind", or rather from those who controlled it. Something to hide from the rest of his Reptile kind. He had "let one escape". Conquering the planet had been his responsibility; the planet this escaped spirit had come from. And now this spirit had contacted this human. It was his failing, that he'd killed her when her mind was still free. And now she had talked to a human, given information that needed to be sealed away.
He injected something behind my right ear, and everything seemed to swim about me. I felt no pain, but could hear the devices he used on my body. He put something, somehow, beneath the skin and muscle of my abdomen, on the right side. He did something to my right arm; I could not see what. He did many things; I had no power over my body.
He kept talking. He said that I would never remember this; I would have a vague dream of a toy rabbit talking to me, something that neither I nor anyone else would take seriously. I would do what almost all humans did. I would perform my duty as another good cattle human; be like a flower in the Reptile creature's garden. I'd bloom, wither and die, unaware of my significance to the larger picture of life. He said that all this would remain a buried memory.
I felt the presence of the spirit who had spoken to me, somewhere beyond Him, telling me that it would be all right. He did not seem to sense her presence. He smiled when the procedure, whatever he was doing to my body, was done. His expression oozed with satisfaction. He made another hand signal, this one for the Grays, and I passed somehow into bright white light, then into green, and then slowly back into my bed. The spirit stood by me; I sat up to reach out to her though I could only move very slowly.
"They've hurt you. 'He' did." She said. It was not a question. "They exercised their power, but your power to remember is stronger than His. It will be difficult, but you will remember yourself, and remember me. You have the Gift of Word," she breathed, holding my hands. "I have given you my story. You have been touched, your Gift awakened. You will write what you are, what must be. You will write me, and the Reptiles." she spoke without fear, "This will bring conflict, yet you will find strength over time. Two years, four years, and six years-you will find your way and your past. This is the best I can give you; your Word and its art are your own. I am Released, but you will have my love in you always. You will remember that I am motion, and light, and bring that to your stories. Thank you, child. Thank you."
I squeezed her hands and she released me; her light subsided but a small flash of it burst into my heart. I told her I loved her and immediately, as though by her direction, I was asleep again.
The next morning my body could feel the changes. I could feel a small, round bump behind my right ear. That year a persistent kidney infection surfaced in my right side. I also began to feel intense, piercing pain in both pectoral regions, and developed a knot in my right leg and a swelling in the right ankle.
But my mind was truly affected. I was incredibly vibrant that day, full of questions and absolutely amazed at the last night. Though I found it physically impossible to talk, or think, about most of it. Soon I began writing. I wrote about spaceships, and light, and Reptiles. And I've never stopped; it's a work in progress and will likely be for a long, long time.
She had awoken me, to be changed in a process over time. Two years after that night I began remembering my past lives. Now, about six years after that night, I've finally overcome my imposed mind-control barriers enough to write this.
The spirit that spoke to me I call "Lola". I call her that because, honestly, what else can I call her? It is the name of a form she took for a time, but that is all names are.
That is my story. That was the night that changed everything. I am alone with a story no one could believe. That's all right, because Lola loved me.
Archive date: 11-17-03
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